Behind the Scenes!!

Let me recount to you the story of behind the scenes for arranged marriages and love marriages. 

Arranged

Scene 1: Meeting the boy
Girl : Hello aunty!! How are you? Hope the way was convenient to find!! (why the hell did you come?)

Aunty : Oh yes, beta. (Checks out the girl from top to bottom). (is she good enough for my boy!)

Boy : (Standing behind the mother) What do you want to drink? Shall I get coffee for you? (aiyoo...where am I stuck?)

Aunty : yes, get me one.

Girl : No, thanks I am not interested. (how long will this whole s**t take?)

Boy : Ok, sure.

Aunty : So, what does your father do?

[Girl answers.] (really?)

Aunty : How many brothers and sisters you have?

[Girl answers.] (guess my father told you every time he called you up)

[Aunty : (Some questions about family background and relatives)]
[Girl answers.] (am I giving an interview?)

[Aunty : (Some questions on girl's ability to run household)] (will she serve in place of the cook we have?)

Girl : I don't know how to cook. (aah...that should clinch the deal *evil grin*)

Aunty : How do you manage? Didn't your mother teach you? (what kind of a mom she has...if she didn't teach her how to cook, what else would she teach)

Girl : I can take care of myself. (obviously...duh)

Aunty : How many guys have you seen by now? (why is she not married yet?)

[Girl : (rendered speechless)] (you....)

Waiter : 3 coffees!

Aunty : You can ask anything you want to my boy. (only with my permission can you talk to my son)

[Boy : (about schooling)] (what should I ask, I don't even know her)

[Girl answers.] 
Boy : What are your hobbies? (well, safest question)

[Girls answers.] (good, its at least brushing up my PR skills!!)

Girl : What are yours? (don't worry...its just courtesy)

[Boy answers.]

Boy : Do you have any expectations?

Girl : No. (duh!)

Boy : Still, you would have thought about the qualities you would want in your husband? (say its nothing like me)

Girl : Well, I never gave it a thought. (definitely nothing like you)

[After 15-20 min, they all leave happily.]
Scene 2 : After meeting some boy
Girl : No, dad, Not again!!! Cant you get someone who is well-educated?

Dad : What's wrong with him? He is a MBA.

Girl : With a B.Sc???

Dad : He is in *some bank* earning *some DECENT amount*. Why will they take him if he is not good?

Girl : They want an employee. I want a husband. You see there is a difference between both!!

Dad : You know we don't have much choices. We don't want to cross the age bar and you are already 25. Your bua called me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to keep my daughter with me all my life? What do you suppose I should answer?

Girl : Dad, please don't start off with the age thing and the relatives. They have no other work except for poking their Pinnocchio noses and bringing the most horrible of the matches or profiles and saying that I have expectations beyond the sky's limits.

Dad : Beta, we have to think about the society and its a parent's responsibility (and blah blah)!!

[Girl turns a deaf ear!!]
Scene 3 : Second meeting with the boy
Boy : So, how are you? (see I came from so far so you better say yes, I am tired now!)

Girl : Ya fine, thank you. So, are you ready to get married. (lets get to business)

Boy : I am already 31. ts high time I get married.

[Girl flabbergasted.]

Girl : huh, ok! So, I want to wear jeans and (clarifying other things of the lifestyle)

Boy : (looking dumb) yeah, I have no issues!!

After an hour, Girl : So, are you mentally ready to get married? (please answer sensibly this time)

Boy : I am already 31. ts high time I get married.

[Girl sighs.]
Scene 4 : Parents meet.
Boy's father : Our boy has done *this* and *that*. (you should feel honored by our advent)

[Boy's mother : (some more praises for the boy and a little history of their entire family tree - immediate and extended - which takes around a half hour of non-stop one-sided conversation)]

[Girl's mother and father listening and contributing *yeses* and *of courses* at appropriate intervals.]
After some time, Boy's father : Our daughter's marriage was fixed within an hour of the boy and his family meeting and seeing her. We want the same thing repeating in the case of our son. (thereby raising hopes of the girl's parents)

In the meanwhile, boy and girl are talking.

Boy : Whatever happens, we should be in touch with each other.

Girl : (skeptically) Ok.

[When the boy's family is leaving, girl's parents present a dry fruit box to them (the boy and family) for which the boy's father literally jumps onto the girl's father!! And, then, leave to check out another girl for their beloved son.]
Love
Boy and Girl fall in love. Their main struggle is to get the parents accept their relationship which can vary depending on the parent's attitude. So, lets take one of the scenarios most difficult to convince - inter-caste marriage.

Scene 1 : Telling Mom
Girl's mother : You can't get married  inter-caste. How will you adjust?

Girl : Mom, I wasn't even brought up in *some place*. How does it really matter? I don't anyhow know any of our customs that I can't adapt someone else's!!

Girl's mother : You don't have to know anything. Your genes will teach you everything and will automatically help you adapt and learn everything.

Girl : Mom, are you serious?

Girl's mother (very seriously) : Yes!

[Girls gives up.]
Scene 2 : With Dad
Girl : Dad, what's the problem? He is well-educated, earning comfortably and we know each other and his family is great!!! What else do you want for your daughter?

Dad : What will the society say?

Girl : Do you care for me or society?

Dad : Fine!! But, I can still find a better match for you.
Scene 3 : Now, lets come to the relatives comments.
Relative 1 : Couldn't you find anyone in our own caste that you had to choose some one from such a lower community?

Relative 2 : She was always spoilt and today she has proved it to her parents as well.

Relative 3 : We brought them so many matches but they were not good enough for them!! They said that one of the boys looked much older than their daughter, another's qualifications wasn't good enough! I told them clearly that after bearing kids, their daughter would look equally older and the boy and girl would suit!! And, regd. qualifications, some day the guy might get a job in a good MNC, no?
Well, such is the case in our Indian marriages be it love or arranged. Happy marriage :)

PS: This is my entry for a Indiblogger contest. Please please leave comments on how you liked or hated the post. Thanks a lot for reading :)

Image Courtesy:Google

22 comments:

  1. wow, what a playwright. excellent thought provoking.
    best wishes.

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    1. thanks Pramod...all the best to you too :)

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  2. good luck Swathi...I read the post half but really liked whatever I read :)

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    1. hehe...you got bored in the middle :D thanks a lot :)

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  3. Hey .. this was really good .. keep it up :) .. wish you had made it lonegr cause I was having a good laugh!

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    1. thanks a lot Roshni :) couldn't think of any more incidents :D

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  4. Hey Swati awesome post girl! I don't know much about the arranged marriage part but could relate to it too. The love marriage part was bang on, I am laughing so hard right now. I heard every one of those comments at some time or the other before I got married. Best of luck dear. :)

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    1. thanks a lot, Swapna :) haha...the arranged is all mix and match of what I am going through and love, mom part actually happened with mom and dad part was my friend's experience :D you really made my day :)

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  5. wonderfully written swati. Quite hilarious..
    i simply loved it. keep writing and keep tickling
    our brains. :)

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    1. thanks for so much encouragement, Nirmala :)

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  6. HahahA... really true, Swati.. Well explained not exaggerated story.

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    1. haha....personal experiences recounted, Monu :D :D

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  7. Replies
    1. hey, lovely to see you here...thanks a lot :)

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  8. I am one of your perfect skin care reader :) since u asked specifically to comment on this one, i am :) and its a really nice hilarious post ! keep it up... i enjoyd and agreed reading to this !

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    1. hey Khyati...of course, I remember you :) you are one of the regular commenters and thank you so much for coming here and reading the post and for your kind comments :)

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  9. wow swati it's great:)
    i had been thru all those comments of love marriage part ,
    nice.it was really hilarious

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  10. Definitely not exaggerated. Happened word to word in my family. Yet to figure out how to convince the folks. I might need serious therapy by the end of it.

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